Now that I’ve started running some small classes, I can see that the lock down Mums just need more. More time and understanding. More care and compassion. They have gone through pregnancy and have had their babies with the worry of all their health hanging over them every day. The unknown that this deadly virus has threatened us with. The appointments without their partner, Mum or friend. Wondering if everything will be ok. What if I have to give birth alone? The restrictions in the hospital, the masks, the threat, the fear.
They have faced loneliness that those who had our babies under normal circumstances will never understand. That contact with other Mums that was our sanity, they have not known. Questioning themselves daily in the same four walls. They have missed watching their closest family revel in their baby’s new born cuteness. Wondered if they’ll ever see them hold their baby at all as they watched the daily news update.
They have questioned if they are good enough when their baby cries and wont stop. Their arms ache from being the only one who can hold the baby while they both cry. If only my Mum was here. I need Mothered too. They have thought – maybe I’m doing everything wrong. The battles with feeding and the guilt when it doesn’t go well. Zoom sessions with those they should see face to face. Making the most of conversations and activities with their baby. And when the meeting ends they are back, like that, just the two of them.
I know there have been so many positive moments for them too. You are your baby’s world after all and I see how they have thrived with all the cuddles and closeness. I also see your strength and determination. But the plan these Mums had for their mat leave, that precious time of having adventures together was taken away. They grieve for that time and we must let them, with understanding. They long for more contact even now. We were not meant to do this alone. It takes a village after all.
So now that we are slowly slowly coming back together, I want to recognise you amazing women. I don’t understand what it feels like to have had your baby in lockdown. But I see you, I hear you and I will continue to strive to support you the very best I can.
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